Are you thinking about having another baby? It’s a decision that is so personal to each of us, and we all have different reasons for trying soon after having our first or waiting a while. We asked some mums how they decided it was the right to try to conceive again…
“I knew I wanted more than one, so was ready from when my daughter Cherry was about one. It took a few months to convince my partner, though. She was about 18 months when I discovered I was pregnant and although the first year was hard because Cherry didn’t react well to his arrival, they get on really well now. The pregnancy was a lot harder as there was no time to rest and I was permanently exhausted but I’ve forgotten all about that part and would happily try for another!” Jess, mum of Cherry, 4 and Tiger, 2.
“I knew I couldn’t afford two in childcare at the same time so we had to think about that in our timings. Pregnancy this time was harder with both a full time job, a 3 year old and a body that is 4 years older.”Rachel, mum of Pip, 4 and a newborn son.
“We wanted a decent age gap so the first child would be relatively self sufficient / potty trained / slightly better at entertaining herself. Second pregnancy was tougher as I didn’t get much rest or relaxation but I also found it easier in many ways as you just have to get on with everything – whereas first time I think you’re slightly scared of what your limits are, and I pretty much refused to lift or carry anytime – but you have to second time, which made me feel pretty invincible (also I think this meant I was in better shape for labour and recovery.)” Gillian, mum of Eliza, 4 and Florence, 1.
“I think I always knew I wanted to have another child. I’m not a huge fan of pregnancy so a big age gap appealed to me and the thought of juggling pregnancy with the demands of a toddler doesn’t sound fun to me at all. As it happens, my daughter will be a month or so from starting school when her new baby brother or sister arrives. For me, this is the perfect gap and will allow me to really experience those newborn days again while my daughter is school. At the moment, my biggest fear is how my daughter will adjust to being a big sister. She’s really excited, but I know it’s unlikely to be a smooth transition.”Fiona, pregnant mum of Ebony, 4.
“I actually wanted to have my babies a lot closer together than I did. I loved growing up with a small age gap with my brother (he’s fourteen months younger than me) however, breastfeeding meant my cycles didn’t return until my eldest was 18 months and then I didn’t fall pregnant until she was 23 months. Two years, eight months has turned out to be a wonderful age gap for us and I can’t imagine it any other way. In fact, I’m pregnant again and the age gap is only slightly smaller – two years five months – but the three-month difference feels like a big deal because I can’t imagine it. I think there are pros and cons to any gap. That said, I’m quite glad I didn’t get the teeny gap I’d previously wanted!” Adele, mum of two and pregnant with her third.
“My eldest, Theo wasn’t exactly planned so it was odd to think of deciding when the right time to have another child would be. We waited until we felt a bit more settled and sorted with our lives like getting married and buying a house (not that you have to do any of those things to have a family!). We always said we didn’t want to massive age gap, but now that our second baby, Rohan, is here and there’s exactly five years between them I can see the benefits! Theo was so excited about the baby coming and understands so much more and loves being Rohan’s special helper! I did worry about how it would change our family and how I would have to get used to having to split my time between two children especially after getting used to having more time to myself! But I guess it just becomes your new normal and you don’t have time to think about it!” Abigail, mum of Theo, 5, and baby Rohan
“When we were trying for the second and third times around, I remember worrrying about adding another child to the mix, worried how I would juggle everyone’s needs, etc. I actually had a miscarriage in between our third and fourth child, so when we were TTC last time, I was nervous that the same would happen again, rather than worrying about what more with four would be like!” Polly, mum of four.